Tuesday, December 22, 2009

~*~ Christmas ~*~


Merry Christmas to all
And Happy New Year, too
As we all say, farewell
To this year almost, through.

I wish you good health
Happiness and cheer
And all the best things
In, the new, coming year.

I wish peace for the world
And true freedom for all
For the Devil and hate
A final, downfall..

I hope those filled with greed
Will find they have enough
That love and friendship
Will replace all that "stuff".

I hope the homeless and hungry
Find relief from their plight
(And we know they would
if, we'd all do what's right).

I wish a life for the Children
That, will be worth living
Each with loving parents
Who know, the art of giving.

Colorblind would be fine
And respect for our Brother
An end to those Religions
That believe, there is no other.

I wish Mankind united
In one common cause
To root out all evil
To, make it, what was.

I hope all who have passed
Find peace, in their New World
And that the Stars & Stripes
Will fly proudly, unfurled.

I hope we'll care for our Earth
Quit polluting this place
Before it's too late
For the Human Race.
So Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night
And during this Season
Let's vow, to do right.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My Tree Is Up!! YAY!!

I got my tree up today...I'm excited about it because its the first tree I've put up in 3 yrs!! With the deaths of my family members, I just haven't been in the mood for it...but this is a "stepping stone" into helping me get past the "Holiday Depression". The last time I put up the tree (in 2005) my Dad did it with me and we took lots of pictures. So I remembered that today and cried a little but mostly I felt good because I know he would want me to be ok and not depressed, I know it would've killed him to see me so sad. So I did it and I feel better and I feel "accomplished"!! My tree is fiber optic, and it spins around and plays music...I love it and its just cute enough for the 2 of us :)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy the
time with your families!!
God Bless!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Life Still Has A Meaning

Life Still Has A Meaning
If there is a future there is time for mending-
Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.
Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow-
If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.
If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-
When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.
Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling-
If there is time for praying there is time for healing.
So if through your window there is a new day breaking-
Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,
If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning-
There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.
by Author Unknown

Friday, November 6, 2009

Tyler's ABC's Afghan

I made this one for my nephew, Tyler for Christmas. He just started school this year so I made him one with the alphabet.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Its been one year...

It has officially been one year since the death of my Dad and it has been the worse year of my life. I think I've been through emotions ranging from shock, denial, raging anger, devastating sadness, & unbelievable guilt. I've had these emotions but they were multiplied times 10. I can't believe I've lived one whole year without him. I think what hurts the most is the way that he died...he was just gone without a word. When my grandmother passed, I had 15 months to say "good-bye" to her, we all knew it was coming. But my dad died from a heart attack alone without anyone there to comfort him and hold his hand...he went so fast he probably never knew what happened to him. He always told me that if something ever happened to him, he would hug & kiss me on his way out and up and I get comfort from believing that he did. I think I have finally come to the terms that this is something that I will never get over, but I will have to learn to live with it. And I've let myself grieve for a year and so this year I'm going to try to get myself out of this "funk" and maybe some slight depression. I've learned a lot this year and I'm going to try to do the best that I can to move on and be happy the way that he wants me to be. I'm blessed with a great family and wonderful friends that have been there for me this whole year. I'm focusing on that.

And now after all we've been through, we've been faced with yet another family member in very poor health. My grandpa (my dad's dad) has been diagnosed with Leukemia. He's been in & out of hospitals and rehabilitation centers for the last 3 months, he hasn't been in his own home in 2 months. From what I understand he's had this for years and didn't know it, and is now in the final stage. Its horrible seeing what this cancer does to someone. My grandpa has worked hard his whole life, he's a very strong, determined, respectfully stubborn man. I have never seen him down in my whole life and to see him now a man thats 6' ft or more, down to 102lbs. and fighting just to be able to eat something...well its just devastating and I have a hard time with it, especially after just losing my dad. But it doesn't matter how it makes me feel, I will be there for him regardless and be as strong as I can for him. My aunt told me the other day that he has been trying to eat better and if he keeps it up, they will let him go home, which is what he wants to do. He told us last week he wanted to go home and sit on his porch and I pray that he gets to do that before the weather gets colder.
This past weekend Oct. 16-18 I think was the mile stone for me. The 18th was the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death and I was terrified of it, I got real bad anxiety. I would shake, I couldn't sleep, I was real nervous and I had a pain in my chest that I hadn't had since the minute (@7:26 pm on Oct. 18th 2008) I got the phone call of his passing...I just did not want this day to come. But what I realized is that I just didn't want to go through it alone (excluding my husband). My mom lives in Indiana and she had been saying she was going to come down that weekend, but I didn't want to get my hopes up until I knew for sure. And my brother lives in Ohio and he wasn't sure he could make it, due to work and finances after moving to a new house, he's gotten a little behind. But the weekend before our grandpa asked about David and asked me if he was going to get to come down. And so I told David that grandpa was "asking" for him and so David re-arranged things to be able to come down and see grandpa and to be with me & mom on the anniversary. And so they arrived at my house on Friday night the 16th around midnight and it was so good to see them, I instantly felt a peaceful relief. I knew they were what I needed. My brother has grown up to be a really great guy and has the funniest sense of humor, he had me laughing the minute he walked in the door and my mom has come a long way and when she hugs me now, it feels genuine (long history there...lol). Well I got them to bed because we all had to get up early and get ready for Saturday. And as I woke up on Saturday morning the pain that had been in my chest was gone and I was feeling so much better than I had in a couple weeks. My mom was in good spirits, and David was being his fun self...I think just us being together is what we needed more than I had realized to get through this weekend. We were going to meet my aunt Sharon (dads sister) and her son (my cousin) Steven for lunch at Chili's and then go to the hospital to spend the rest of the afternoon with grandpa, he's in ICU at this time. So as we go in the hospital room, my grandpa is sleeping but the nurse wakes him up, its time for his lunch and he realizes that we're all there...so he gets up to eat and he is looking really good to me, compared to the last time I was there...he had color in his face and was eating the most I had seen him eat in 2 months!! We had a very good visit and I'm so thankful that my brother got this time with him, they both got to tell each other that they loved each other and it was good for David to see the reality of how sick grandpa really is. I don't think he grasped that until seeing it for his self.
After that we went to the cemetary to put flowers on my dad's head stone. And this was the first time that my mom has seen the grave site since the funeral and I think it was really good for her, because all she remembered was the big gaping hole in the ground...so now she felt some closure and I asked her if she felt better and could feel a difference after you see it some time later and she said "yes, actually I felt better at your house last night, when we went to bed I could feel your dad's spirit/presence in your house." She could not have said anything better to me. We came back to my house after that and spent some good quality time together, going through pictures and playing with pictures on the computer...by that I mean editing them and decorating a few for halloween and it was a lot of fun. My mom went to bed early, she had a long drive the next morning and my husband went to bed a little while later and David and I stayed up until 1:00am talking and having a good time...I love my brother so much...he's a big piece of my heart...more than I thought he would ever be (we didn't get along growing up...lol)

Well they got up early on Sunday morning and drove back to their homes and I was alone on the anniversary date, and you know I was ok...it was the worse day of my life and I felt good, I was smiling and having a good day. I thought of my dad the whole day...but of good things not the things that have been haunting me for a year. My dad was so hilarious and compassionate and a very loving man...he had his problems and did some things that he shouldn't have but he learned from them, maybe a little to late, but he did and I realized that those things didn't take away from his "character" & "personality" which was bigger than life!! I'll never be closer to another person than I was to him and as I sit here crying and typing this out, I have realized that besides losing another family member or a close friend, that the worse thing that could ever happen to me, already has, and I'm still here, I'm ok & I'm going to be ok...I can get through "it" now.

I've talked to my mom a few times since she's been back home and she seems to be alot better...which makes me feel so much better for her and David...well he's just David...lol...back to work and worrying about his home, wife & kids as it should be. We'll always miss him but at least now as we start this next year without him, we can focus more on the positive things about him...so here's to my dad *toast*...may he rest in peace until we get there...lol

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Shades of Greens Round Ripple

This was made for Liz, my couisn-in-law. Her daddy passed away this past spring & she requested an afghan with his favorite color (green) so when she looked at it, she thought of him. She recieved it in the mail yesterday and told me it was perfect and was on the back of her couch, so I'm happy for her.
Thanks Liz!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Last year I wanted to make something for my family and I got the idea to make pillows. I wanted to make so many more, but my Dad passed away in the middle of this and it set me back and I got behind on what I did do. I really enjoyed making them, they went fast, the only hard part was thinking of different patterns or stitches to use...but I loved how they turned out and everyone loved them :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Farewell Guiding Light

Today is a sad day for my family...its the last episode of Guiding Light...to me its just not a show, its part of my childhood. Many memories with my grandma, aunts, cousins and my mom watched this show or kept up with it thru each other for 4 generations. My Great-grandmother started listening to it when it started on radio in 1937 and then when it came on TV in 1952...I'm very sad to see this show go...Thanks for the memories GL

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Inner Peace

{I love this and wish that all people could read this and apply it to thier own lives, I don't remember where I got it from, but I try to read it often}

Inner Peace

How do you know when you have gained inner peace in your life? You begin to draw emotional boundaries, which negative and toxic people can’t cross. You stop giving your power, time, money, body and sanity away to people and conditions that can steal your joy and purpose.

You begin to simplify your life.You begin to value quiet time.You don't feel insecure if you are alone.You begin to trust yourself more.You begin to trust God more.Your choices in food, fun, family and friends change for the better.You sleep better because you let go of worry.You spend time with the people and activities that bring out your best.You don't spend a lot of energy trying to fix or rescue other folk.

You change what you can and what cannot be changed, "it is what it is!" You have gratitude for the things God has brought you through and make a conscience decision not to dwell on the things He "didn't do".

Life lessons learned help you to bounce back with more resiliency after setbacks, disappointments or loss.You focus less on the mess and stress and have more gratitude for your blessings and success.You are liberated from shame, anger, fear and guilt.

REMEMBER PEOPLE:" Our job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible!"

Sunday, September 6, 2009

For Those You Love...

Smile each day for those you love.Let them know by the brightness of your facethat you are happy they are in your life.
Even if there are times you argue and disagree.Touch each day those you love.
Hold them close, even if brieflyThe human touch is one of the most comforting things in our world,and one of the most reassuring.
Speak softly each day to those you love.Those whispers of intimacy that tell them that what you say is important.
But meant for their ears and their ears only.Muse quietly each day of those you love.
Allow yourself to find those thingsthat you truly admire and respect in that person.Forgetting, at least for the moment, any of the negative.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable to those you love.It is a most frightening experience to be without shields,But it can also be the most wonderful flight in the worldTo find another holds your spirit carefully within their heart.
Believe that you deserve those you love.Your love is the most precious giftthat you can bestow on another human.
You deserve to be loved in return,without constraints, without reserve.Be honest with those you love.Let them know how important they are in your life.
Take care that they never have to guess at what you think and feel. There may come a time when they walk away. and then would you regret not telling them? in all possible ways?
~~ Author Unknown ~~

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Previous Crochet Work

For my first post I'm going to post my previous
work that I've done before I made this blog...so here are some pics of tha e afghans that I've made over the last several years...I hope you like them and please feel free to comment...thank you!! :)